"no, I don't have a child at this party..."

One of my fabulous student's mother invited me to her daughter's birthday party. They're this fabulous Norwegian family and I get along with the mother super well.

It was at a cafe near this bran new ice skating rink on the highest floor of a gigantic shopping mall near my home.

It was cool!....although a bit weird...cause I was at my student's birthday party...with a bunch of strangers...and parents who's kids I teach.

So this man stops to speak to me and he goes; so do you have a kid at this party? hahaha..., and I laugh say no...and that I'm Hedda's English teacher.

Nope! ...no kids yet!
Wow...I mean, I know I can clean up real good (HAHAHHA), but to look like a parent?

I made a note before going to dress decently and it's a good thing cause these conversations with these people were very telling of what was clearly a generation gap, yet only an age gap of about ten to 15 years!

You have to understand that these are fairly well off expats in Moscow.
As much as I love Hedda and her parents, I couldn't help but feel more at ease playing with the kids....and the truth is, I don't think it was a matter of me not wanting to socialize with the adults, but none of them seemed all that keen to talk to me. When they did, I never had to struggle so hard to find things to say!

One of the parents was complaining about the taxes around the world....we started talking about ridiculous taxes in Norway and then Paris, and how Moscow doesn't tax that much and the man was saying how great that was, and all I could think of was how different we were...how privileged we all are, yet how different we were. (By privilege, I mean people who have benefits just by holding a passport of a first world country, not $ signs. I'm fairly certain this man spends more than my salary per month on his rent alone, and that's a generous assumption). I ALWAYS feel the need to find balance in a coversation when it's wayyy too one sided, so I just HAD to bring it up...How taxes aren't only about the amount of money the government takes from our pockets, it's about the social benefits that people that AREN'T as privileged as us can get. Norway has one of the BEST social public support system form the government. Education is funded; EVERYTHING's funded. Yeah things are freakin' expensive, but they balance out to a certain extent. There's almost 5 million people in Norway, and considering they've been voted most peaceful country in the world; they MUST be doing something right. It's about social programs, pensions, health care, subsidized ANYTHING for people who can't offord things as easily as we can. I'm not saying people in Norway are very impoverished; YES it's a rich country. Yes it's easier to take care of a smaller and richer country, but all I'm saying is that SOMETHING is being done to support the population. Maybe if countries did more for their people, the whole situation would be better. For SURE, not being taxed in Moscow is fabulous, but it only benefits the privileged. If we look at the poverty some people live in, the corruption, and dirt and LACK of good health/dental/pension/everything we take for granted, you'll see, MR. Privileged, that compared to somoene like you who's company will pay for a comfortable life, maybe the millions of Russians who live in the same expensive city with a fraction of your salary wouldn't mind paying a few percentages of what they make and buy just to have decent benefits.

I said all of this to him with my respect filter turned on HIGH.

All he could add to that was that Yes, he does miss having the good roads and highway structures he sees in high tax countries.
His daughter's real cute though...

***********************************************************

On a slightly funnier note:
I just got this e-mail.

I'm still recieving e-mails reagarding my flat posting I put up on an expat forum here in moscow.
THANKFULLY I made up a new e-mail address cause it's the second time I get an e-mail like this one:

"Hello dear,

My name is fatouba Dioh.
My hobbies are reading, music, watching of movies and playing of basketball.
I was impressed when i saw your profile and will like to discuss important matter with you and as well as establishe a long lasting relationship with you.In addition, please kindly contact me direct with my e-mail address: xxxx@yahoo.comWaiting to hear from you soonest.
With love.
Miss fatouba."

Actually, the other one was funnier...lemme find it:

Read it now, or save it for a SAD SAD day, cause it'll make you laugh your pants off and feel INSTANTANEOUSLY better about your life and the world we live in:

"My name is miss cherish i saw your profile today and became interested in you,i will also like to know you the more,and i want you to send a mail to my email address so i can give you my picture for you to know whom l am.Here is my email address(@yahoo.co.uk).I believe we can move from here.I am waiting for your mail to my email address above.miss cherish.(Remeber the distance or colour does not matter but love matters alot in life) Please reply me with my email address here"

YES I have these people's e-mails.
No I have not written them back, and
NO you can not have the e-mail addresses!
...and YES, yes I am quite the heartbreaker.

HAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHA :)

hugsalot
loveloveovlveolvoe
patey:]

Here's to my FANTABULOUS Hedda (I call her Heds:) and to kids who get so happy because of simple tiny things!! Everybody; send her happy thoughts!
Here's a pic of her being her wonderful self. She's so cool :))))

addictions

I met someone interesting.
He's has come to be a good friend as we have much in common... he's a really interesting Russian dude, who speaks VERY good Mandarin, very good Swedish, Polish, English and moderate French and of course Ruski. (shockingly enough, I may be forgetting another language in that mix!)

He's also gay (which is a big secret, so SHHHH!) and SUPER interesting. (It's not really the safest thing for people to be gay in Russia)

Most importantly, he thinks deeply, which was exactly what I needed someone to do with me here. I'm glad I have him for that.

Anyway, in one of our intense conversations (usually they go on for quite some time, and we usually lose others who may have thought they were in a group conversation) we were talking about something or other and it led to him saying that we all have addictions.

We went through what we thought our addictions were, and I was at a loss, after "love" and "the internet" haha,....but then he said (and keep in mind that he's only known me for a couple of weeks and we've only hung out 3 times at that point) that he thinks I'm addicted to talking to people.

......oh my...

I was stunned into silence.
not only cause he was so spot on, but cause he was able to read me like no one has read me in a long time without knowing me....in a way that's raw, honest, objective and most importantly in a way that I didn't see coming. I LOVED that.

And he's SO right. ....it is truly something that I would feel REALLY uncomfortable without; see I even have this BLOG! I not only want to talk to you all, I feel the NEED to. I'm not sure why, but I just do. It's this urge....a needy urge! HAHA needy urgency! THAT should have been the title of this posting!

Seriously though, I don't think I could go for more than a couple of days without SOME kind of way to express myself even if it's as little as in my journal, but even then, I woudn't be able to wait to tell someone.
I think it's the reason I love the internet so much...The net is just another tool for communication. It's not the internet that I can't live without; it's what the internet allows me do. It's just another way for me to get my fix!

Anyway, I thought that was an interesting thing to note...

EXPRESS YOURSELF.



ok...I'm done expressing myself :)

until my next fix, sending lots of love
patey:]

giving up

my French partner quit last week...
well she's leaving officially during the x-mas break.

Basically, what I was afraid would happen to me (which hasn't...in fact, thankfully the opposite occured for me) happened to her.

She REALLY doesn't like the big city, the crowds in the metro, the job's ok but the kids are "capricieux" (which I've learned means...Particular...or picky ...or, well, there's just no good english translation..."annoyingly pickly")....she's made no real connections with people here, and she misses her boyfriend back at home.
All bad combinations.

I haven't really decided how I feel about this (not that what I think about it really matters,) but I spent some energy trying to help her since the get go...giving her tips, listening to her. She's just really unhappy, and that's ok...it is what it is...
It just really sucks cause I like her, and it's kind of a shame...but what are you gonna do? it's not meant to be.
The crazy thing is, that I asked her if she feels better knowing that she's going home soon...and she said not really; which only tells me how stressed she really is about everything. I guess this is what happens to small town girls who find themselves in humoungous anonymous cities.
It's a dangerous game....it could happen to anyone of us.
When I got here, she was the only other person who was closest in profile to me. In age, in circumstance....and she's dropped out!

I remember talking to her during the first months when she told me how much trouble she was having; I asked her if she would consider leaving, and she said No, cause it would kind of be like a failure, which I agreed with. ...but is it a failure if it's just what's right? I hope she doesn't feel that way... I want to say that, but it'll be the equivalent of me showing her a box and saying "don't look in this really cool box"...she'll probably want to look in the box and then think of herself as a failure.
Did that analogy make sense? it's 9:40pm and I'm EXHAUSTED. My WiFi is still acting up. at LEAST I have the internet, so it's not all that bad; I'm just awkwardly connected to a wire and typing on my orange sofa

I'm SO going to bed. Sorry this posting is kind of crappy; will try to write something cultural or at LEAST comical soon,
hugs for you,
lovelovelvleolvoeol
patey:]

PS: thanks for all the comments! whoo hoo! I should prompt more conversations on my blog! That last one got people who hadn't responded yet! whoo! Go friends!

eating cake

dear friends,

I have a question, and I'd appreciate any kind of insight, or comments you can think of.
I apologize for being obscure, as the topic is fairly personal and I'd not giving myself the liberty to divulge, but I would like to know what people think:

CAN YOU HAVE YOUR CAKE AND EAT IT TOO?

Can we have our cake while we eat it too? Is it selfish to do so? Is it right? Does it make cake lose meaning? Is it fair? Is it a personal choice? (wait, of course it is...)
Or, on the other hand, why can't we have both?

I know how weird of a question it is to answer not knowing context, but I'd like to hear responses anyway, if possible....I'll compile a survey for myself..hehe stats, and I'll take it all into consideration. (I heart you guys; thank you for helping)

****************************

Check out the awesome view from the bridge near my home; the building on the left; just parallel to the left blue building is MY home! (I've added this picture to make this posting less treacherous! hugs all around!)

Last week was Halloween; I didn't really write about it, cause it kind of sucked....I was a slice of pizza, which SOUNDS like a cool idea; I made my costume, and it was nice, but the kids didn't really recognize me, so it was kind of a bust. BUT, that's not the only reason...the day before; with all the preparation and all the madness (the english teachers were in charge of the whole celebrations, and there was A LOT of planning to do), I broke down a bit...

It was a combination of a lot of things, but I believe, mostly cause of PMS! haha
It was just a tiring tuesday, and I thought I would be going home right after school to waste time away on the internet....but NO, I ended up having to stay after school until 8:45PM! prepping for the next day's celebrations...and not only that, my co-worker got in a tiff with me...She said something uncool, and I went to another room and lost it. It was weird, cause it wasn't something I would usually lose it over, but I lost it...I was SO tired, and so hurt and so PMS-ing....I just started crying, and even after I spoke about it, and talked to my co-worker, I just kept crying! ...and I didn't know why...(it really was PMS hehe), but anyway, it felt nice to cry like that...I hadn't in a long time.
OK
the reason I'm writing this story (not to make you think anything's wrong; REALLY there isn't anything going on) is to say that between sobs, Elena (my friend) got all freaked out.....
She told me afterwards as she was going out of her way to walk me home, that she got scared cause I said something like "I'm SO tired, I just want to go home" and she thought I meant was that I wanted to go home to Canada. That made me laugh out loud, and I thought OF COURSE NOT! ...I meant home here home! Moscow home...Smolenskaya home!!! She was relieved, but it was then and only then that I realized how much I don't actually want to go home to Canada.

I hope it's not weird for you to read this, for those of you in Montreal, but there really is no where on this earth that I would rather be than RIGHT HERE. My soul screams contentment day in and day out...even when things are shit, I realize it's not all that shitty cause I'm here. I know there will be a time when I crave Montreal again, but I haven't been away for that long yet. Moscow is my home for now, and I wouldn't want it any other way.

BUT (and this is the reason for ALL that wrote in the above paragraphs) there ARE a few things that make me ache over not being in Montreal....
Of course, there are my friends and family (and our new OVEN! ARR! I can't wait to see it! I've been waiting my whole youth for a new oven! no joke! and my parents had to go out and buy one when I'm gone!), but the biggest thing for me is Paul and Katherine.

My friends...my close friends, are having a baby in early December.
SO little makes me want to come home at all...SO very little, but THAT ...it makes me CRY almost that I can't be there to see it happen...or hear about it...or see it...it's SUCH a crazy event, I can't even comprehend. I know that I will get to see them and the baby when I go home during xmas, but I can't help but still feel like I'm missing out on so much. The pregnancy, the birth; the everything!
That's the trade off I guess....I can't be everywhere for everything.

I think my trip home will be interesting. I see it coming so quickly, it's making my head spin!...I just came from a vacation, and I feel like I need another one... I'm not sure what that break did to me...meeting people, seeing Moscow in a different way. It very much changed the dynamic of patey in this city...

ok that's enough about me

hugs for everyone at home....I hope everything is well, and if you want to wish Paul and Katherine a happy pregnancy, you can e-mail me, or write a comment and I'll compile something for them.

lvoelovelvoelovleovleolve
patey:]

OH, and comments on the above are VERY much welcomed. It would help me figure some things out :) hugs for you

Unsupporting of Corruption!

So it's saturday night.

We're out and about and we decide to go to this club, aptly named 'Sorry Babushka' (cute; their logo is this little grandma, and a red circle barring her out...cause it's only for the wild! Incidentally, I later saw a tv going of dancing old ladies!, teehee)

anyway, we're waiting in line to get our coats checked, and they "don't have any room left"....that is, unless you slip a 100 rouble bill with your jacket. Basically if you didn't, you had to wait till people were LEAVING the club, and get a legitimate taggy for your coat!

Me and my Swedish posse (ok fine, we had a few Russians with us too), decided to stand our ground and NOT PAY! We stood up against corruption! We socked it to the MAN! We waited legitimately!! (ok fine, I didn't have any money with me, but take it as fate/my budget wanted me to stand up to the corruption too!)

...fine, alright, so we waited for 30-45 minutes in the front of the line as people after people passed their jackets over our heards. So we looked like douche bags in front of the coat check guy; the important point is that we stood up against corruption in Russia! We did it!
I've never been prouder.
We danced like idiots when we got in; it was grand :)

************************************************************

I had my first fight with Alessandro on Sunday. OOHhh...Oh noo!! trouble in paradise! hahahha

We had some people over, and he was being such an ASS for some reason...so I got really annoyed. There's no real need to go into more detail that that, but as I was going to bed and our last friend was leaving, he said something that made me laugh and totally forget what I was pissed about...but I was so determined to stay angry with him, I picked a fight after we closed the door. HAHAHAHA...what a girl thing to do...but SHIT, was he annoying that night.

anyway, all is well now... I'm glad we're growing as a home unit! hahahha

*************************************************************

OH! OH!
I went to my FIRST OPERA!!! It was Italian, called The Elixir of Amore, or something like that.
It was SUPER cool! Granted I almost nodded off in the first half one time, and also, I couldn't really understand what the heck was happening, but it was really cool. By the end, their singing was really cool. We also had awesome seats, so nothing to complain about there. What's coolest is that their singing literally fills up the whole auditorium! Their one super-powerful voice! It's awesome to hear :)


It's not over till the somwhat-slim lady sings!

Pure Hilarity

So here I am...on my own in a big city, but it's all good cause I love it, but also cause I chat with my brother more while I'm in Moscow than when I'm in Montreal. Go figure, hehe, but it's good times. EXAMPLE:

Below is a chat we JUST had. It made me laugh so loud, I felt kinda stupid...haha

It's about our dad...and for those who know my dad, it's even funnier. Just cause of the awesome man he is.
Shit balls, I miss my dad.
Enjoy friends!
lovelovle
patey;]
ps: hugbots for you gee,

******************************************************
9:04 PM
me: whatta losar
so how are things at home?
George: good
haha
oh man, something hilarious happened
9:05 PM
me: what?
George: dad found this tin box of weed in the parking lot at work
haha
so he brought it home and he walks into my room and he's like "Do you know what this is?"
me: HAHAHAHAHHAHAa
HAHAHHAHAHA
HAAHHAHAHAHAHAH
George: and i open the tin box and i'm like ... i'm pretty sure it's weed
but i'm not an expert
and there was quite a bit too ... i think enough to probably roll maybe 8 or 9 joints
but again, i'm no expert. but i'm like, i'm pretty sure it's weed
me: wow...jay
9:06 PM
George: and he's like, ya, i think it's drugs too
me: what did he do with it?!? haha
George: so he went and asked a younger co-worker at work
haha
and the guy's like
me: HAHAHAHAHAH bobi!!!
George: yeah, it's weed ... about 30 bucks worth ... smells good ... looks fresh ... he said he'd give dad $10 for the tin
HAHAHA
and dad's like ... i'll think about it.
me: HAHAHAHAHAHa
George: so yesterday we're having supper and the tin box is just sitting next to me on the table
HAHAHA
me: HAHAHAHA
AHHAHAHAHa
George: i think he's just gonna give the box to his co-worker.
me: HAHAHAHAHAHA
George: it's not like we need it.
me: YOU HAVE TO TAKE A PICTURE!
George: but that was hilarious.
i want to, but i think dad may have already given it to his co-worker today
me: HAHAHAHHAHA
I'm SO putting that on my blog
HAHAHHA
George: hahaha
sure
********************************************************

SHIT! and I'm just living it up in Moscow. hahahah

I love my family....it'll be good to go home for a while :)