I've decided to admit it; I'm terrified of the following things:
-I might not like South Africa
-I'm not dealing with a long distance relationship well enough
-Not communicating enough
-Not knowing how to be away from leroux for more than a month
-Not getting a teaching job in a good school next year in SA
-Not even being considered for an interview
-The level of crime there is in SA
-That the amount of CRAP I see everywhere around me is going to change the person I want to be; the pollution, the crime, the lack of good internet, the shit that is in this world!
-That I'll get too use to putting paper in the trash!
-Having to get used to driving on the other side of the street
-Having to shift with my left hand
-Having to get used to driving EVERYWHERE
-That I'm not going to have a good time this holiday
-That I'm going to feel for the first time ever, like a total foreigner in another country
-That I'll end up living in Johannesburg
-That I'll fall further into losing my friends
-That I'll no longer be considered truly a Montrealer
-That I'll be figured out to be the fraud Montrealer that I am
-That I'll be discovered to be a fraud of a teacher
-That I'll stop being able to be positive enough to sustain myself
-That I won't see my family for a YEAR!
-That I'm for the first time going somewhere that is NOT of my choosing
-That I'll end up looking like a basket case in front of leroux's step-mom
-That leroux's dad thinks there's something's wrong with me
-Not knowing what to do to save myself
I'm just REALLY scared, of the whole deal...all this CHANGE...
There are positive responses and solutions and rationalizations to ALL those above statements, and they have truly been the only thing keeping me going (and don't worry, I'm going steadily, and I know what you are going to say) BUT they do not seem to fully quell my anxieties.
I'm TIRED of being scared and worried, but I rationally know that it's okay to be scared.
I want a break, but I don't want to be bored,
I want to work less, but I need to work more
I crave babies, but a child is the LAST thing I want right now...
this is me at my WORST, and I thought it would be a good place to start again on the blog, (sorry for the downer)
All in all, I'm doing alright though, ...hhehehahaha, and I'm not joking!
I actually do honestly think most of us have a huge-ass list of fears. I just feel like mine hasn't been this long for a long time.
sending love,
patey:]
Tuesday, November 25, 2008
Friday, October 3, 2008
dreaming of South Africa
It's been the second time this week, a random dream about going to South Africa,
I'm not even sure if it's the anticipation of going in December, or the knowledge that Le Roux will be leaving soon for there... YEP! he's leaving, and likely for good until I join him there maybe at the after next summer in Montreal.
We'll for sure see each other at random pit stops around the world between now and then. We'll travel around together and get our fix, but aside from that, we will be apart for the next 6 months, and we're preparing/bracing ourselves for its impact.
I'm trying to be strong, and trying to remember what it was like to be an independant person. It's this weird dependance that you grow upon the person you love. Learning how to be on your own again is like learning how to walk all over again. Oddly familiar, yet so challenging in leaving such comfort.
All in all, I'm looking at the grander scheme of everything. 6 months is in essence such little time, and it's good for us to spend time apart. I'm also MUCH MUCH MUCH more productive when he's not around. (Putzing around together at home may be great, but very unproductive, hehe, and he knows the same of himself too...)
....
...but it's my rouxbear, :(
I was antsy after 2 weeks without him!
arg!
But anyway, I have so many things to do, and I'm trying to keep to the positive.
-----------------------------------------------
Lets not talk about that anymore.
The COOL news is that:
I HELD A FIRE HOSE AND SPRAYED IT yesterday!
For a field trip yesterday, we went to a Russian Fire Station, and the kids got to do all sorts of cool stuff, and among them was spraying a fire hose! The firefighter let me spray with the pressure SUPER big (in comparison to the 5 year olds' measly pressure, hehe) so the kids all thought I was cool, hehe, (although, not only does it not take much, but they pretty much think I'm cool anyway:)
Oh speaking of which, I haven't spoken of my new class yet!
They're pretty darn cool.
I thought it would be hard to let go of the old first group, but I've looped with a few, which has made the transition easier I guess, but it doesn't take long to fall in love with another springy group of youngsters.
They CAN be a rambunctious group, and a definite challenge at times in bigger ways than last year's group, BUT they are definitey cosey in a nice area of my heart.
There are great ones already; there's this kid, he's half greek and half dutch, and he's just about the greatest little guy in the world!! He's sooo awesome. Yesterday though, he wasn't feeling well since after lunch, and he kept complaining of a headache; he does NOT complain for no reason. He doesn't cry for no reason either (Since then, I had yet to have seen him cry), and then he threw up on me after school. Admitedly, it was gross and smelled like the pudding they had for snack (nice one, I know),...he just sat there like a good kid, in front of his own throwup, while I tried to mop it up and tell him it was all ok, and that if there was more he should just let it out. Poor little guy. He threw up on me again, haha, sooooo gross, but then I asked him, if he felt better, and he said Yes, and still sat there trying to process what just happened to him....I know this story is kind of random, but it's just his FACE; his genuinity. It's just so pure and awesome.
When his driver took him a way, he just looked at me and waved and said BYE!
I'm trying to think of whether I'd ever been vomitted on, and I can't say that I have...or it has definitely not been as memorable. Poor little guy; at least he's for sure feeling better now...
anyway, he's definitely a highlight to my day. Just pure genuinety, walking around in red and blue slippers.
I wish people could see some of these kids, they're just kids, but they're so much more in so many ways. Ok, I'll stop gushing now,
It's weekend! YAY!
I'm so used to getting up at 7am, I get so much done in the morning...although I can't seem to keep my eyes open after 10pm...ahhh the life of a teacher ;)
I'm not even sure if it's the anticipation of going in December, or the knowledge that Le Roux will be leaving soon for there... YEP! he's leaving, and likely for good until I join him there maybe at the after next summer in Montreal.
We'll for sure see each other at random pit stops around the world between now and then. We'll travel around together and get our fix, but aside from that, we will be apart for the next 6 months, and we're preparing/bracing ourselves for its impact.
I'm trying to be strong, and trying to remember what it was like to be an independant person. It's this weird dependance that you grow upon the person you love. Learning how to be on your own again is like learning how to walk all over again. Oddly familiar, yet so challenging in leaving such comfort.
All in all, I'm looking at the grander scheme of everything. 6 months is in essence such little time, and it's good for us to spend time apart. I'm also MUCH MUCH MUCH more productive when he's not around. (Putzing around together at home may be great, but very unproductive, hehe, and he knows the same of himself too...)
....
...but it's my rouxbear, :(
I was antsy after 2 weeks without him!
arg!
But anyway, I have so many things to do, and I'm trying to keep to the positive.
-----------------------------------------------
Lets not talk about that anymore.
The COOL news is that:
I HELD A FIRE HOSE AND SPRAYED IT yesterday!
For a field trip yesterday, we went to a Russian Fire Station, and the kids got to do all sorts of cool stuff, and among them was spraying a fire hose! The firefighter let me spray with the pressure SUPER big (in comparison to the 5 year olds' measly pressure, hehe) so the kids all thought I was cool, hehe, (although, not only does it not take much, but they pretty much think I'm cool anyway:)
Oh speaking of which, I haven't spoken of my new class yet!
They're pretty darn cool.
I thought it would be hard to let go of the old first group, but I've looped with a few, which has made the transition easier I guess, but it doesn't take long to fall in love with another springy group of youngsters.
They CAN be a rambunctious group, and a definite challenge at times in bigger ways than last year's group, BUT they are definitey cosey in a nice area of my heart.
There are great ones already; there's this kid, he's half greek and half dutch, and he's just about the greatest little guy in the world!! He's sooo awesome. Yesterday though, he wasn't feeling well since after lunch, and he kept complaining of a headache; he does NOT complain for no reason. He doesn't cry for no reason either (Since then, I had yet to have seen him cry), and then he threw up on me after school. Admitedly, it was gross and smelled like the pudding they had for snack (nice one, I know),...he just sat there like a good kid, in front of his own throwup, while I tried to mop it up and tell him it was all ok, and that if there was more he should just let it out. Poor little guy. He threw up on me again, haha, sooooo gross, but then I asked him, if he felt better, and he said Yes, and still sat there trying to process what just happened to him....I know this story is kind of random, but it's just his FACE; his genuinity. It's just so pure and awesome.
When his driver took him a way, he just looked at me and waved and said BYE!
I'm trying to think of whether I'd ever been vomitted on, and I can't say that I have...or it has definitely not been as memorable. Poor little guy; at least he's for sure feeling better now...
anyway, he's definitely a highlight to my day. Just pure genuinety, walking around in red and blue slippers.
I wish people could see some of these kids, they're just kids, but they're so much more in so many ways. Ok, I'll stop gushing now,
It's weekend! YAY!
I'm so used to getting up at 7am, I get so much done in the morning...although I can't seem to keep my eyes open after 10pm...ahhh the life of a teacher ;)
Friday, September 26, 2008
waiting for push
yep, I'm back.
with a hopeful vengence,
I've honestly been at sort of a loss for words on this blog. Just not knowing what to write about and how to even get back on the horse after so many months. I've been baaaad, I know it. I feel bad, but I can't beat myself up for not having the motivation. It's weird, because when I first got here, I was all blahlbah,
Ok, I'm just going to dive right in, like I never left:
- A couple of weeks ago, it was septeber 6th and I realized that it had been a whole year that I've been living at 10 Smolenskaya Uilitsa apt 248, cool huh? it was a strange realization..that I chose to stay another long while, and that I wouldn't have been there otherwise, and how slightly scary that is.
I've been sort of down in the dumps for a few months before I went to Montreal. This summer back home was the most rejuvenating rest I've had in a long time. I'm not just a bit more motivated but a little less daunted by the daily challenge that is living in Moscow (I finally let myself admit that it IS a challenge living in this city, and that's alright!).
Now I just see it as a good and learning experience that I'm letting myself experience this. I'm seeing a bit more of the old me, and I'm happy about that.
-The new school year is proving to be a challenge as well, there are quite a few behavioural cases, but which years won't give me that? Again, on the learning experience thing. It's alllll about what I can figure out from it, and truthfully, it's never the kids, or anyone else; it's always just our reactions to craziness. (There's this one kid; the most challenging of challenges; I think I've begun a good run for him, which I'm glad; updates later.)
Aside from that and all the hard parts, I FEEL like my second year is more experienced, more prepared and more confident. These are really important things...
as for the new personal year, I have so many trips planned, Montreal in November for a wedding (and maybe a haircut), Egypt (or many countries in europe) in October, a weekend in Italy (we have an open invitation to Naples!) and another in Prague if we don't go there in October. Most importantly, South Africa for 20 days over Xmas! How exiting! I can finally tick off more of those cities on my facebook thingie! (my guilty pleasure of facebook),
It's definitely an awesome time to be alive. I don't want to forget that, cause I'm always forgetting for some reason, and I didn't use to be that person,
HELLO inspiration!? Please don't leave again!!! We all need you!
ps: I'm definitely back this time,
pps: I'm reading "Eat, Pray, Love" and it's really good,
ppps: did you know that Font in French is "Police" ?!?! That's right, my French co-workers teach me so many cool things
with a hopeful vengence,
I've honestly been at sort of a loss for words on this blog. Just not knowing what to write about and how to even get back on the horse after so many months. I've been baaaad, I know it. I feel bad, but I can't beat myself up for not having the motivation. It's weird, because when I first got here, I was all blahlbah,
Ok, I'm just going to dive right in, like I never left:
- A couple of weeks ago, it was septeber 6th and I realized that it had been a whole year that I've been living at 10 Smolenskaya Uilitsa apt 248, cool huh? it was a strange realization..that I chose to stay another long while, and that I wouldn't have been there otherwise, and how slightly scary that is.
I've been sort of down in the dumps for a few months before I went to Montreal. This summer back home was the most rejuvenating rest I've had in a long time. I'm not just a bit more motivated but a little less daunted by the daily challenge that is living in Moscow (I finally let myself admit that it IS a challenge living in this city, and that's alright!).
Now I just see it as a good and learning experience that I'm letting myself experience this. I'm seeing a bit more of the old me, and I'm happy about that.
-The new school year is proving to be a challenge as well, there are quite a few behavioural cases, but which years won't give me that? Again, on the learning experience thing. It's alllll about what I can figure out from it, and truthfully, it's never the kids, or anyone else; it's always just our reactions to craziness. (There's this one kid; the most challenging of challenges; I think I've begun a good run for him, which I'm glad; updates later.)
Aside from that and all the hard parts, I FEEL like my second year is more experienced, more prepared and more confident. These are really important things...
as for the new personal year, I have so many trips planned, Montreal in November for a wedding (and maybe a haircut), Egypt (or many countries in europe) in October, a weekend in Italy (we have an open invitation to Naples!) and another in Prague if we don't go there in October. Most importantly, South Africa for 20 days over Xmas! How exiting! I can finally tick off more of those cities on my facebook thingie! (my guilty pleasure of facebook),
It's definitely an awesome time to be alive. I don't want to forget that, cause I'm always forgetting for some reason, and I didn't use to be that person,
HELLO inspiration!? Please don't leave again!!! We all need you!
ps: I'm definitely back this time,
pps: I'm reading "Eat, Pray, Love" and it's really good,
ppps: did you know that Font in French is "Police" ?!?! That's right, my French co-workers teach me so many cool things
Monday, March 17, 2008
Is Stan a Bull? (...SO sorry, I couldn't resist)
Seriously,
SO sorry about that title...I've just been LITERALLY saying that word in my head ever since I was even planning the trip, so there. I might as well have let it out of the bag.
So Istanbul.
Damn was it cool.
I made a list of things that I didn't want to forget to blog about, and of course, I can't seem to find it now.
Lets digress a bit:
It seems now, that I've become a topic of freak interest! My school (P'tit Cref) has a sister school affilate (Cref), and that's an acronym for Centre Regionale Educatif Francaise....and they're doing this "Francofolie" week, and they were looking for people who come from countries that speak French other than France.
They think I'm so damn intersting, they want me to talk about myself for 30 MINUTES!
I looked at the guy with big eyes in stunned silence, and he responded "Les dernieres dix minutes peuvent contribuer au periode des questions"
So yeah, on the 26th of March, a little Asian Canadian girl will be representing Quebec in a French school in Moscow. I am no longer surprised by the randomnities that occur here.
I will be back to talk about Istanbul. I must find this list!! It's too blogworthy to disregard!
loveloves for you
patey:]
SO sorry about that title...I've just been LITERALLY saying that word in my head ever since I was even planning the trip, so there. I might as well have let it out of the bag.
So Istanbul.
Damn was it cool.
I made a list of things that I didn't want to forget to blog about, and of course, I can't seem to find it now.
Lets digress a bit:
It seems now, that I've become a topic of freak interest! My school (P'tit Cref) has a sister school affilate (Cref), and that's an acronym for Centre Regionale Educatif Francaise....and they're doing this "Francofolie" week, and they were looking for people who come from countries that speak French other than France.
They think I'm so damn intersting, they want me to talk about myself for 30 MINUTES!
I looked at the guy with big eyes in stunned silence, and he responded "Les dernieres dix minutes peuvent contribuer au periode des questions"
So yeah, on the 26th of March, a little Asian Canadian girl will be representing Quebec in a French school in Moscow. I am no longer surprised by the randomnities that occur here.
I will be back to talk about Istanbul. I must find this list!! It's too blogworthy to disregard!
loveloves for you
patey:]
Friday, March 14, 2008
the anniversary of my mother's intense pain
"happy birthday to ME!
happy birthday to MEEE
I SMELL like a monkey,
and I eat like one TOO!"
Goodbye 24 years,
thanks!
loove you!
patey:]
happy birthday to MEEE
I SMELL like a monkey,
and I eat like one TOO!"
Goodbye 24 years,
thanks!
loove you!
patey:]
Saturday, February 23, 2008
hmmmmm
yeahhh...
Le Roux and I are back together....hehe
we couldn't really stay away from each other...It's like that when you love someone a ridiculous amount...
Don't get me wrong, we still have our issues, but for some reason, after a good long talk and an expression of emotion and explanation of feelings, you realize that two different people coming together in any situation is going to be work.
Everyone says this right? making a relationship work is hard work...damn am I reminded of that.
To be honest, I've never had so many issues at the beginning of a relationship...but in the same vein, I've never cared about someone as much as I do my poo bear. It's all balanced out I think.
Regarding my issues, I've found a way to remind me of who I was...who I've become...I think I just needed a break of sorts..a break to remind myself of what made me happy...after a few days of being apart, I was just shockingly miserable and the only thing that made me feel better instantaneously was letting myself walk into his room.
I'm still keeping the resolutions I've made to myself..the yoga and the blog. It's all just a balance, and yes Yasmin; subsequently, all a learning experience.
On a different note, the crazy fun news is that I'm going to Istanbul, Turkey! YEHAW
So damn excited about that...everyone says that people are super nice and everyone who goes there loves it to death.
That'll be march 6th to the 10th....
AND on an earlier note, one of the bestest buds, Bessy is coming next thursday! WHOO! She'll be coming for about a week and I'll be on my vacation so I'll be able to spend some time with her, so that'll be fun.
cultural note:
So I'm in a nightclub (this is before xmas, so maybe you've heard this story, but it should be told to the masses who hopefully are still reading), and it's a stupid hour of the night. The club is packed and the people are dancing...it's loud, smokey and crowded.
ONLY IN MOSCOW: you see a cleaning lady, with her head lowered, slouching with her dustpan and broom, brooming away crap that may be on the floor. My Swedish friend turns to me and says "Only in Moscow"...
I'm standing later with a friend, and I turn around and there's a lady dusting the ground. I say a quick "spaciba" to her and she jumps, stunned, and scurries away quickly...like "OH! Someone saw me!"...
MY GOSH! It's freakin' 3 in the morning and I feel despicable for my generation of careless partiers when there's a woman having to maneuver unseen through crowds of people dancing suggestively.
This is just the way it is.
There are people who are poor and they work where they can to survive.
And here I am complaining that my budget is tight.
That's what I like about Moscow, (and hate really), it's always a reminder (depending on how you want to see it) of what we have, don't have, COULD have, can never have, and for me personally, what I never ever really want.
There's Gulia.
She's my school's cleaning lady. I want to say CUSTODIAN, which is what we say in Canada, but she doesn't even allow herself that dignity. She walks around with her head bowed and takes orders like she serves everyone. I hate that, and just cause she's from Uzbekistan, she's automatically inferior.
I made her supper one day and she told me about her life...lives in moscow with her two brothers making money to send home. Typical story: mother sick, needs operation, needs money. The three of them live in a home that's basically the size of my apartment with 30 OTHER PEOPLE. She sleeps in a space on the floor.
Last week, I got my hair cut; it's this salon that's usually really expensive, but on weekdays between 11-2pm, it's only 300Roubles for a great haircut (that's like 12$) so I went and they did a great job.
Elena and I spoke to Virginie (my great boss), and she okayed me to take Gulia on my afternoon off to get a surprise haircut. I didn't say anything to her until we got to the door of the salon...She was so happy. It was my happy deed for the day, and damn was she happy and did she look good!
I had to convince her not to tie it right back up after she got off the chair! To walk back to school proudly.
There are so many simple things about our world, and we always forget.
That was a nice day for me to walk home to my boyfriend.
Gulia tells me to hang on to him, because it's nothing but wonderful to have a man that loves you and takes care of you. She doesn't have one....like she doesn't have MANY things I do.
I'm thinking, enough pettiness,
I love you very much, all of you and everything,
thank you!
patey:]
Le Roux and I are back together....hehe
we couldn't really stay away from each other...It's like that when you love someone a ridiculous amount...
Don't get me wrong, we still have our issues, but for some reason, after a good long talk and an expression of emotion and explanation of feelings, you realize that two different people coming together in any situation is going to be work.
Everyone says this right? making a relationship work is hard work...damn am I reminded of that.
To be honest, I've never had so many issues at the beginning of a relationship...but in the same vein, I've never cared about someone as much as I do my poo bear. It's all balanced out I think.
Regarding my issues, I've found a way to remind me of who I was...who I've become...I think I just needed a break of sorts..a break to remind myself of what made me happy...after a few days of being apart, I was just shockingly miserable and the only thing that made me feel better instantaneously was letting myself walk into his room.
I'm still keeping the resolutions I've made to myself..the yoga and the blog. It's all just a balance, and yes Yasmin; subsequently, all a learning experience.
On a different note, the crazy fun news is that I'm going to Istanbul, Turkey! YEHAW
So damn excited about that...everyone says that people are super nice and everyone who goes there loves it to death.
That'll be march 6th to the 10th....
AND on an earlier note, one of the bestest buds, Bessy is coming next thursday! WHOO! She'll be coming for about a week and I'll be on my vacation so I'll be able to spend some time with her, so that'll be fun.
cultural note:
So I'm in a nightclub (this is before xmas, so maybe you've heard this story, but it should be told to the masses who hopefully are still reading), and it's a stupid hour of the night. The club is packed and the people are dancing...it's loud, smokey and crowded.
ONLY IN MOSCOW: you see a cleaning lady, with her head lowered, slouching with her dustpan and broom, brooming away crap that may be on the floor. My Swedish friend turns to me and says "Only in Moscow"...
I'm standing later with a friend, and I turn around and there's a lady dusting the ground. I say a quick "spaciba" to her and she jumps, stunned, and scurries away quickly...like "OH! Someone saw me!"...
MY GOSH! It's freakin' 3 in the morning and I feel despicable for my generation of careless partiers when there's a woman having to maneuver unseen through crowds of people dancing suggestively.
This is just the way it is.
There are people who are poor and they work where they can to survive.
And here I am complaining that my budget is tight.
That's what I like about Moscow, (and hate really), it's always a reminder (depending on how you want to see it) of what we have, don't have, COULD have, can never have, and for me personally, what I never ever really want.
There's Gulia.
She's my school's cleaning lady. I want to say CUSTODIAN, which is what we say in Canada, but she doesn't even allow herself that dignity. She walks around with her head bowed and takes orders like she serves everyone. I hate that, and just cause she's from Uzbekistan, she's automatically inferior.
I made her supper one day and she told me about her life...lives in moscow with her two brothers making money to send home. Typical story: mother sick, needs operation, needs money. The three of them live in a home that's basically the size of my apartment with 30 OTHER PEOPLE. She sleeps in a space on the floor.
Last week, I got my hair cut; it's this salon that's usually really expensive, but on weekdays between 11-2pm, it's only 300Roubles for a great haircut (that's like 12$) so I went and they did a great job.
Elena and I spoke to Virginie (my great boss), and she okayed me to take Gulia on my afternoon off to get a surprise haircut. I didn't say anything to her until we got to the door of the salon...She was so happy. It was my happy deed for the day, and damn was she happy and did she look good!
I had to convince her not to tie it right back up after she got off the chair! To walk back to school proudly.
There are so many simple things about our world, and we always forget.
That was a nice day for me to walk home to my boyfriend.
Gulia tells me to hang on to him, because it's nothing but wonderful to have a man that loves you and takes care of you. She doesn't have one....like she doesn't have MANY things I do.
I'm thinking, enough pettiness,
I love you very much, all of you and everything,
thank you!
patey:]
Wednesday, February 13, 2008
Living with Le Roux
I haven't written in a long time...for lots of reasons...
I know I explained it to be overwhelmness, and busy-ness and of course it's the truth, although the biggest reason I didn't write (and wrote nothing much other than that pathetic posting about my lost luggage) was cause I wasn't really ready to write about the biggest thing happening at the time:
My relationship Le Poo, (my witty nickname for him, amongs many others)
We're not together anymore...in fact we broke up this morning, which is likely the reason for this posting; 1)my way to cope and 2) well, I guess it's ok to talk about now, as it's not all that serious anymore...
Imagine the sweetest and most considerate guy. One that always stops to let me through the doorway/elevator first. Lets us watch whatever I want to watch all the time. Shares the same taste in musical essence as me. Someone who yells "I wanna dedicate this song to my Girlfriend" every time a song he likes comes on. Someone who actually prefers subtitles too and someone who stopped smoking socially once I told him it disgusted the shiznitsnazbots out of me. That's him.....
It really didn't take long after he moved in for us to get together...it just, felt RIGHT. We had a friendship where I felt ZERO attraction to him, but soon found that being with him was easy and fun and ridiculously okay. Things are still okay, it's just not right anymore. We're both in Moscow for certain reasons and it has come to be now, that us being together isn't condusive to our goals for the moment.
I just really need for us to each live our own moscow experiences, and I'm not ready to cash it in for a serious relationship. It wasn't that he was suffocating me...I think I was suffocating myself.
I'm SO glad I found my own footing again. I almost got lost..!!
BUT I'm BACK!...I knew something was wrong once I suddenly couldn't find time for yoga...and stopped blogging. Now I'm resolving to take yoga classes here, and picking up my emotional outlet again. I think once I can wean the real me...the me that I like into a relationship, then it'll be a good one.
...it's weird to say, but it TRULY is..."it's not you, it's me"
It's totally just me and my crap...
yay! patey's found again,
It's all a learning experience anyway, right?
This is the new me, with a new haircut; you likey? Above was the way it was before; if you like that one better, just remember, that came from a disastrous haircut too okay? ...yeah I know it's short now, but I kind of like it, I'm not sure why...it's Fresh.
love you guys,
ptpy
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