hmmmmm

yeahhh...

Le Roux and I are back together....hehe

we couldn't really stay away from each other...It's like that when you love someone a ridiculous amount...
Don't get me wrong, we still have our issues, but for some reason, after a good long talk and an expression of emotion and explanation of feelings, you realize that two different people coming together in any situation is going to be work.
Everyone says this right? making a relationship work is hard work...damn am I reminded of that.
To be honest, I've never had so many issues at the beginning of a relationship...but in the same vein, I've never cared about someone as much as I do my poo bear. It's all balanced out I think.

Regarding my issues, I've found a way to remind me of who I was...who I've become...I think I just needed a break of sorts..a break to remind myself of what made me happy...after a few days of being apart, I was just shockingly miserable and the only thing that made me feel better instantaneously was letting myself walk into his room.
I'm still keeping the resolutions I've made to myself..the yoga and the blog. It's all just a balance, and yes Yasmin; subsequently, all a learning experience.


On a different note, the crazy fun news is that I'm going to Istanbul, Turkey! YEHAW
So damn excited about that...everyone says that people are super nice and everyone who goes there loves it to death.
That'll be march 6th to the 10th....

AND on an earlier note, one of the bestest buds, Bessy is coming next thursday! WHOO! She'll be coming for about a week and I'll be on my vacation so I'll be able to spend some time with her, so that'll be fun.

cultural note:

So I'm in a nightclub (this is before xmas, so maybe you've heard this story, but it should be told to the masses who hopefully are still reading), and it's a stupid hour of the night. The club is packed and the people are dancing...it's loud, smokey and crowded.
ONLY IN MOSCOW: you see a cleaning lady, with her head lowered, slouching with her dustpan and broom, brooming away crap that may be on the floor. My Swedish friend turns to me and says "Only in Moscow"...
I'm standing later with a friend, and I turn around and there's a lady dusting the ground. I say a quick "spaciba" to her and she jumps, stunned, and scurries away quickly...like "OH! Someone saw me!"...
MY GOSH! It's freakin' 3 in the morning and I feel despicable for my generation of careless partiers when there's a woman having to maneuver unseen through crowds of people dancing suggestively.
This is just the way it is.
There are people who are poor and they work where they can to survive.
And here I am complaining that my budget is tight.

That's what I like about Moscow, (and hate really), it's always a reminder (depending on how you want to see it) of what we have, don't have, COULD have, can never have, and for me personally, what I never ever really want.

There's Gulia.
She's my school's cleaning lady. I want to say CUSTODIAN, which is what we say in Canada, but she doesn't even allow herself that dignity. She walks around with her head bowed and takes orders like she serves everyone. I hate that, and just cause she's from Uzbekistan, she's automatically inferior.
I made her supper one day and she told me about her life...lives in moscow with her two brothers making money to send home. Typical story: mother sick, needs operation, needs money. The three of them live in a home that's basically the size of my apartment with 30 OTHER PEOPLE. She sleeps in a space on the floor.
Last week, I got my hair cut; it's this salon that's usually really expensive, but on weekdays between 11-2pm, it's only 300Roubles for a great haircut (that's like 12$) so I went and they did a great job.
Elena and I spoke to Virginie (my great boss), and she okayed me to take Gulia on my afternoon off to get a surprise haircut. I didn't say anything to her until we got to the door of the salon...She was so happy. It was my happy deed for the day, and damn was she happy and did she look good!
I had to convince her not to tie it right back up after she got off the chair! To walk back to school proudly.
There are so many simple things about our world, and we always forget.

That was a nice day for me to walk home to my boyfriend.
Gulia tells me to hang on to him, because it's nothing but wonderful to have a man that loves you and takes care of you. She doesn't have one....like she doesn't have MANY things I do.
I'm thinking, enough pettiness,

I love you very much, all of you and everything,
thank you!
patey:]

Living with Le Roux

I haven't written in a long time...for lots of reasons...

I know I explained it to be overwhelmness, and busy-ness and of course it's the truth, although the biggest reason I didn't write (and wrote nothing much other than that pathetic posting about my lost luggage) was cause I wasn't really ready to write about the biggest thing happening at the time:

My relationship Le Poo, (my witty nickname for him, amongs many others)

We're not together anymore...in fact we broke up this morning, which is likely the reason for this posting; 1)my way to cope and 2) well, I guess it's ok to talk about now, as it's not all that serious anymore...

Imagine the sweetest and most considerate guy. One that always stops to let me through the doorway/elevator first. Lets us watch whatever I want to watch all the time. Shares the same taste in musical essence as me. Someone who yells "I wanna dedicate this song to my Girlfriend" every time a song he likes comes on. Someone who actually prefers subtitles too and someone who stopped smoking socially once I told him it disgusted the shiznitsnazbots out of me. That's him.....

It really didn't take long after he moved in for us to get together...it just, felt RIGHT. We had a friendship where I felt ZERO attraction to him, but soon found that being with him was easy and fun and ridiculously okay. Things are still okay, it's just not right anymore. We're both in Moscow for certain reasons and it has come to be now, that us being together isn't condusive to our goals for the moment.

I just really need for us to each live our own moscow experiences, and I'm not ready to cash it in for a serious relationship. It wasn't that he was suffocating me...I think I was suffocating myself.

I'm SO glad I found my own footing again. I almost got lost..!!

BUT I'm BACK!...I knew something was wrong once I suddenly couldn't find time for yoga...and stopped blogging. Now I'm resolving to take yoga classes here, and picking up my emotional outlet again. I think once I can wean the real me...the me that I like into a relationship, then it'll be a good one.

...it's weird to say, but it TRULY is..."it's not you, it's me"

It's totally just me and my crap...

yay! patey's found again,

It's all a learning experience anyway, right?

This is the new me, with a new haircut; you likey? Above was the way it was before; if you like that one better, just remember, that came from a disastrous haircut too okay? ...yeah I know it's short now, but I kind of like it, I'm not sure why...it's Fresh.

love you guys,

ptpy

Cotton Eye Joe- by The Rednex

my musical life is now fulfilled!

I saw the REDNEX LIVE!!!
...
IN A MALL!!
..
IN MOSCOW!...

(on a non-sarcastic note; did you guys know that they were Swedish?)

Hehe,
Aron, LeRoux and I went to Ikea and the Mega mall next to it, and we did so partly to "take Le Roux's Ikea virginity" (as Aron put it; he was truly excited since Ikea is essentially the second Swedish Embassy to him) and also to check out the mini mall concert.
OH MY...Le Roux and I spent the whole 45 minute show mocking them, as a group of maybe 100-150 russians swayed and danced to the tack that they tried to pull off as music.

Ok, I'm feeling really mean saying that. I SHOULD have respect for Swedes trying to prance around with cowboy gettups and fake violins, (YES there were fake violins; fake harmonica playing, and unplugged guitars! hahaha, at least I think the singing was real) and passing themselves off as southern Americans at a cattle ranch party. YEHAW friends!

Wow, this really is the meanest I think I've been in a long time...I seem to be doing that a lot these past while. Just being curt and moody, I'm not sure why, but that's the way it is. Not really the Patey I'm really known to be...I want to take up some yoga classes; I think that'll do me some good. Hopefully, cause I'm starting to get tired of myself really...

I'm trying to get out of a hump...this post xmas hump...where things are good...work is flowing along schedule, although I can't get things (all the little things) done. FOR EXAMPLE; uploading new pictures on facebook. Updating the blog. And the crazy thing is that all I need to do is just strap down and DO IT. It just seems like so much is getting in the way and by the end of everything, all I want to do is veg.

NEWITIES:

1) tutoring my friend Andre (I call him Androushki; say it out loud; maybe you'll like it as much as I do!) in English now, good fun.
2) Rent is officially paid for, for the next 6 months of the year! Sheesh,
3) I decided to SPLURGE and buy myself a new bag/purse thing. MAN, did I feel excited about it. I hadn't bought myself anything since xmas while trying to really save money. (It was on sale. What? How much did you THINK I changed? haha) It's gray. Purdy!
4) Went to Elena's gym on friday; it was SOOO nice to be really active again. Took a yoga class, and did some weird (unfamiliar) stuff, but it was good. Didn't understand very much, BUT you guys would be proud of me because my Russian is now officially good enough to tell a Yoga teacher that 'No, no, I can't bend that way'; awesome
5) GETTING A DRASTIC HAIRCUT TOMORROW!

Yeah...first real sit down haircut since my disaster of a hair-hacking in August of last year! Since everyone works during the day, this one Oh-la-la hairdressers (usually really expensive) charges only 300 roubles (about 12$) for haircuts on weekdays between 11am and 2pm.
SO happy about my Wednesday afternoons off.

On Wednesdays February 13th, 2008; 1pm, hopefully I'll look as stimulated as her:

http://www.beauty-box.jp/style/short/124.html

Or HER! She also looks fairly happy:

http://www.beauty-box.jp/style/short/055.html

let me know what you think!
love
patey:]
ps: I'm glad i'm back